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Thursday, August 17, 2006

Emeril of Ideas

We all like having people speak well of us. I, however, find it troubling when they choose to punctuate their remarks with guffaws. Of course, I am writing of my nephews.

They started out lunch with things like, "Read your blog today. Good point on wiseguys." Guffaw. You get the idea. To them, I am "The Emeril of Ideas" -guffaw-and I should "kick it up a notch"-guffaw. Sometimes they say something nice, then "I don't think." This is similar to saying "Not", such as, "Your remarks were insightful...not!", but the expression they use comes from Laurel and Hardy's Chumps at Oxford. They prefer the original.
They also say " 9 day wonder " instead of Warhol's "15 minutes of fame". Same reason.

 On another blithering topic, for my birthday we went to a Japanese restaurant. I picked up my brother and his wife in front of their high rise, took a left, went 600 feet, took a left at a cul-de-sac ( or, what appeared to me to be so ), then straight into a parking garage. There were towers and brownstones and parking garages and culs-de-sac everywhere.
It was like driving in Alphaville. And I was Eddie Constantin. And my VW was a Ford. And a mechanical voice ( a voice filled with the sadness of the transmission shop ) repeated endlessly...

There was a large atrium being landscaped with trees and flora and rocks looking out on the real world through Buckminster Fuller compound-fly-eye panes of glass. I felt a great responsibility on my shoulders, looking bleakly and very much like Bruce Dern at the last trees of an Earth destroyed by whatever it was in Silent Running. I wondered if people could spend their lives within, never going outside. I thought Logan's Run. I asked if there were a cinema. The answers came in the past tense: was, were, used to be. The people could not support one. They had to go outside and drive a mile to the Cinema Paradiso. A guy in the elevator told us a joke about Adam and Eve. So I said that women were like ribs, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em! My wife became nervous that I had found my doppelganger and when the two of us unite our jejune stories, it would be like joining the Key Master and the Gate Keeper and Zool would be unleashed.

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