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Monday, July 09, 2007

The Red Mosque

Everyone knows the history of the founding of Pakistan; how Mr. Jinnah and Mr. Gandhi worked to bring about the independence of Pakistan and India. The likes of Mr. Gandhi and Mr. Jinnah have not been seen anywhere in the world for a long time.
At an extended meeting at Hanaan's diner, aka. Jenny's Coffee Clutch ( of all things!), Hank Jacubowski asked why Joey Nasser didn't condemn violence committed by Islamic radicals. There seems to have been a tacit belief that we all supported President - and General - Musharraf in the stand-off at the Mosque in Islamabad. Furthermore, both sides in that stand-off were Muslim, so it wasn't clear if Hank the J just wanted peace in our time or what. Hank seemed to be giving voice to something he had been chewing on for a while. So Joey says that of course he condemns violence, no matter who commits it. What did Hank think?

I mean, do you have to go about all the time condemning violence? So why doesn't Hank come into Hanaan's and wail and moan and pull out his hair, despairing at the latest deaths in Iraq? The ones of us who were out of range nodded sagely. So I added that I have heard Joey condemn violence committed by Muslims just as often as I have heard Hank condemn violence done by non-Muslims.
At this point, Hank became wide-eyed with a "wild surmise" that we were conspiring against him. He quoted the ramblings of a website devoted to the devilish aspects of Jihad, apparently fusing disparate observations and emotions into a white-hot nodule of exasperated terror and near-hate. Then Michael Chang says that Jihad was good when the Afghanis were fighting the Soviets. When we decided we could do it better in Afghanistan, Jihad became a bad thing.

Since I am the advocatus diaboli, I said " Jihad...Soviets...Goood! Jihad...USA...Baaaad!" , pretending to be the Frankenstein monster sitting in the alpine hut with his friend, the blind fiddler, discovering the joys of sliced bread and cigars.
Hank...I call him Hank...went ballistic. At this point Levine reminded us of the dangers of arguing politics, especially when (1) drinking booze, or (2) eating anything prepared by Hanaan. "Calm down, Jake," he said. He calls him Jake...from Jake-ubowski, I guess.
We quieted down somewhat. So Joey says that he just wanted to point out that all the time he hears why don't you Mooozlims condemn the violence. But the Muslim community does condemn the violence! Why don't you ever listen to what we say? I mean, everytime we condemn violence, your media has to choose between covering our statement and taking coverage away from Britney Spears.
So it doesn't get covered.
"...anyhow, I don't hear any Polish Americans condemning the slaughter in Iraq!" This almost set the spark to the tinder once more. Cooler heads prevailed.
Someone yelled "John Paul Two!" and this was enlarged by another "Adam Cardinal Maida!", two prominent sons of Poland, one Polish American, who filled the bill to a T. It turns out that just about everyone condemns violence. It also turns out that just about everyone ignores what the other guy says, unless you want the other guy to agree with what you've already said; then you pay attention: criticize him when he disagrees, praise him when he is enlightened enough to agree.

Someone asked Hanaan what she thought about the stand-off at the Red Mosque. She brought her cleaver down with audible force upon the heads of the onions she was cutting. Bang! Then someone asked about Iraq! Bang! Bang!......Bang! Bang! Then someone said "Osama bin Laden?" Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!......Bangity (!?)-bang-bang! There. Plenty of disapproval. You just have to keep your ears open...and try to understand the lingo.

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