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Saturday, April 12, 2008

Airlines And The War On Distransportation

Cute show these days.
American Airlines suddenly recalls that it had oodles of maintenance to do. The FAA suddenly remembered, too, only after some whistle-blowers told all.
Very cozy.

Instead of congressional investigations, how about a show trial. Or how about one of those Guantanamo trials for the airlines and the FAA?

The problem would be that if a prosecutor claimed that American did not do some unspecified maintenace at some unspecified time, but this malfeasance is known to be true because some unspecified guy said it was, American - knowing in its heart what it had done- would probably not insist on facing its accuser and would say yeah, that's probably true.

So. How does the Present Day Actual U.S.A (PDA USA - pronounced "PDA!... (pause) ...USA!") handle such situations? I would expect these things:

1) The creation of a Department of Homeland Transportation, whose size would dwarf any previous departments,

2) The appointment of a Transportation Czar to oversee the new transport empire.,

 3) Declare a War on Transportation Problems....hmmm, not catchy enough. Transportation Bottlenecks? No. How about a War on Dis-Transportation? or Distransportation, meaning that which do not transport.
OK. Declare a War on Distransportation,

 4) Continue to ignore rail transportation, the most fuel efficient of them all,

5) Make speeches on the importance of Biofuels and how they are better than food. Using our own patented temporal chopper and blender time machine, we may see the outcome of the first study authorized by the new Transportation Department: Transport of the Future:
Sea Land Trolley

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