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Thursday, September 17, 2009

Stuff



This blog gained a new follower. I suppose I shall have to clean up my act: pick up the dirty laundry laying about the old blogstead, clean the dishes, start using deodorant... This occurred on 9/11/09, so there is a bit of secrecy surrounding it. I learned how to use the "Follower" gadget, and added it to the right column. I can only imagine how sad I'll be when they decide to bail out, but that is the future's burden.
When people ask about 9/11 - where were you? what were you doing when you first heard? - I usually say I was in Boston at Logan, and I was pissed off about being bumped off Flight 93: ranting and raving, gonna sue everyone, take yer g.d. airline and shove it...good stuff like that.

Of course, peoples' eyes widen and say how close I had come to death, and how lucky - truly lucky - I had been, and wow! how my life must have changed !!?? - like God saved you. Like God bumped you from that flight !! I go silent for awhile, then say that I never had really thought about it that way. (They are amazed and incredulous at the depth of my insensitivity to God-stuff.) Perhaps it was divine Providence. (Of course it was, you ninny!) Maybe God saved me for a reason? (Yes, yes! Now you've got it!) At this point, a lot depends on whom I am talking to.

If I am speaking with white folks, I may follow through with the observation that God saved me in order that I may continue to carry my gun to Town Hall meetings, or to work to resuscitate the Militia movement, or to write that book on Obama wherein I prove that his name is "Kenya Bob".
If my audience is non-Jewish, I may use thinly veiled anti-Semitic insinuations, postulating a Mein Kampf in my future, or a Holocaust denial. If my audience is Jewish and conservative, I may hint at a final solution for the Palestinian question, and demand more lebensraum on the West Bank.
If my audience is liberal, I may suggest mayhem at FOX. Now, if you think me crazy, let me point out that my "success" rate is about 90% : meaning nine out of ten people allow me to chatter on as if I were a cable TV persona, while only one out of ten tells me to shut up, or becomes rattled and edges away. It's all very "Twilight Zone".
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2 comments:

Unknown said...

Er . . . I may be blind, but I see no "followers" in the right-hand column here. I have only three followers myself (and one is my daughter and one is you and the other one an Australian college student who's probably stopped following by now). So don't worry. Your enterprise will probably stay in the black ops.

Montag said...

You're right! Now I see 3!

Seriously, sometimes things don't show up.
When I switched to Microsoft's browser #8 ( I literally - after 15 years - cannot yet recall the name of Microsoft's browser!), I experienced a lot of problems with pictures etc. which I never had with #7.

I hate
number eight.